I Remember.... (one)

I remember

That adventurous and Tough girl I used to be.

Waking up one day, not sure if it was morning or noon, I glanced round the unfamiliar environment. It was strange but, I saw one of my Aunts standing by the window. 

I have a thing for windows....

I often look out the window; even when there's nothing physical to see
. I look out the window in deep thoughts.

It's like focusing on nothing but on something at the same time.

Back to the story;

So, I had the thoughts of going to startle my Aunt, tickle her or, If I can place my hands over her two eyes, that'll be fun. I planned my every move, how to tiptoe behind her carefully, how to stand on my toes behind her to achieve my aim because she is tall! I had it all figured out.

So, I tried sitting up but I couldn't.

I decided to roll my legs down since I couldn't understand not being able to sit up. 

That failed too!

She was on another planet I guess, she didn't hear me fall.

Embarrassed; I tried to hurry back unto the bed without her noticing but, I got caught and she called a nurse.

It then began to settle in, I was in the hospital.

How are you? The question came but, I could not utter any sound.

I then remembered I had earlier opened my eyes.

One day, I didn't know what I was doing because I didn't feel it. Half conscious, the blood bag bursted and the content poured all over my body, creating a big mess. Then I remembered.... Rita, you are in the hospital!

I remember the frown and angry look on the nurse's face.

Lol! 

I was in recovery, I couldn't eat nor sit but, I had big dreams of tiptoeing to play a prank on someone who was double my height at that time.

That was whom I was; a tough kid!

I would usually take the blame for someone else's wrongs and either apologize for it or observe the punishment. This attitude strained the relationship I had with my mom.

You know that "first daughter and mother friction kinda story"? Well, I added fuel to it.

It was crazy!

I explored who I was to the point of being a Tom-boy! 

Madness!

I had big dreams, a big heart and a big mind!

Fear wasn't on my agenda.

I felt like I could do anything!

But,

It changed!

I often wondered what it felt like-being unconscious for three whole months!

What it meant, why I survived it, what happened during that time, what I saw, heard, felt, perceived....

After regaining consciousness, I was being fed through a pipe!

I remember that too!

The custard! 

Mmmhmmm!

I still can't figure that period of my life out, can't remember anything about it.

Shouldn't there be something that happened?

Was I in pain?

How bad was it?

I remember the look on people's faces; those people close to me, family and friends. 

Some had shame, they gave up on me but, the Joy was there.... "she's alive"! She'll make it kind of joyful feeling! 

Years later, I asked, "what then are we living for?"

"How ungrateful!" you might say but, I had just lost a friend to death and it didn't make sense. 

If we all have our God-given assignments on earth, why do some people pass on early? In their childhood? In their youth?

So, do you know what I think?

I actually believe we all have peculiar assignments.

Some people do not figure theirs, so they end up wasting.

Some people are assigned to bring happiness to others and that's all. After the happiness they bring, they pass on because someone or something steals happiness and so, it steals this happiness of a person and from another person.

Like a mother who just put to bed is so happy, all of a sudden, the child is lost and that happiness disappears.

Some people are assigned to give birth to legends or warriors or great persons and after the birth, they pass on because their assignment is over. 

Some are assigned to start a process for others to complete.

Some are assigned to complete a process someone else has started.

With this, I think It makes sense!

Why some die young and some grow old...

Why some die at birth and some don't get to make it out of the birth canal alive...

Why some are wondering why they are living while others are actually living...

Why there are so many people doing so many different things at the same time ....

Why we meet some people for like a second and we learn a lot from them...

It makes sense now!

Life, makes sense now!

Or not!