I woke up early in the morning, it was unusually cold. So, I
reached for my sweater which hung not far from my bed; a perfect mixture of
black and white, sleek but not thick, this piece of clothing made me
comfortable.
It was unusually bright and completely illuminated, I had retired
to bed the previous night without turning the lights off. Placing the fingers on my right hand
below my right ear, “Oh no!” I exclaimed as I saw my beautiful blanket laid in the
middle of my living room, an empty bottle of wine standing tall in the
middle with 4 candles; which were almost completely deem, but still producing
colorful lights.
I remember!
I remember the day before…
A beautiful and special day; I arose with a planned indoor
picnic for two.
Cooking plan drafted, list created, there I was,
unapologetically heading to the towns’ market.
Everything required and listed had been bought. On my way home, something in a little store piqued my interest;
an array of different bottles of wine on a tiny wooden shelf roughly painted
with a thick milk-white paint. I made my way home with the most expensive
bottle of wine from the store.
It wasn’t even expensive but, what can one
expect from a local store in a small and primitive looking town?
Who cares?
At
least, the picnic will be more fascinating with this wine.
Happy! Everything was set. The picture of this moment had
lingered in my head for so long.
Here it was eventually!
Sweet aroma of Krispy
fried chicken, jollof rice and salad was in the air.
Hmmm!
My stomach started to tingle! I was excited!
The living room atmosphere had been transformed to a picnic
setting.
My beautiful blue-dominant-colored blanket was laid in the middle of
the living room, couch shifted to the wall to create space, center table also
leaning on the wall, it looked good.
I thought something was missing. On my dresser, the missing
item was found; A pack of colorful electric candles. Opening it, there were
four candles... Fabulous!
Back to the living room, I placed each candle on one edge of the
blanket.
Admiring the candles as the lights turned from yellow to green, then
blue, red, orange, purple, white and so on, ecstasy!
This is indeed
a very special day; His birthday, who would he rather spend it with if not me?
After dialing his number, I waited eagerly for him to pick
his call. “Hello” I said while blushing. I listened attentively to the
receiver as he elaborated on all the reasons why he was unavoidably absent, sad and upset I
was.
I dropped the phone on the floor angrily.
Thankfully, there
was an undeniable presence that defused the sadness and anger I was feeling.
I sat down and I consumed the food meant for two.
I pulled
down the zipper of my green high-waist bum short for relieve when I
was done.
Aha!
Good!
Looking at the bottle of wine from the corner of my eyes,
“what the hell!” I muttered as I popped it open. Music turned all the way to my definition
of maximum at the time, I danced as I drunk my fancy cheap wine alone.
Yes! That was how I felt… Alone!
Few hours and a good sleep later, here I was standing
between my living room and my bedroom, with my left hand
on my stomach holding my sweater in place and supporting my
right elbow; for my right hand to be comfortably seated as the fingers on my
right hand rested below my right ear, a little angry smile on my face; reminiscing on what was in comparison to what could have been... I did it all for him.
Refusing to be sad or angry, this is the point where I couldn’t
deny the fact anymore.
The fact that you are gone.
So far gone!
Reaching out my right hand for what I thought was you; hoping helplessly that you were here and it was all a dream, you being here was an illusion.
I realized after my hand hung in the air in an attempt to touch my imaginary you that; there…. was no You.
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